Life’s absurdities are not treatable - only accepted or not - and I have yet to meet someone who accepts (not to be confused with ‘resigned’) through thought alone. One path to greater acceptance - therefore greater opportunity for deeper change - is through the understanding of our emotions, or our inner-facing world. We can view emotional intelligence - or perhaps self intelligence - as a life long practice of accepting inherited and learned patterns and beliefs about ourselves. From this ‘place’ of acceptance the change that needs to be made in our lives may appear crisper and clearer, and the belief in our capacity to affect change may be greater and wider.
This work can be liberating as much as it can also be destabilizing even when practiced with the best of intentions. Transforming pain is not always straightforward, but then again, neither is pain. The invaluable learnings that come forth is often worth the temporary discomfort and will depend largely on our willingness to learn and let go.
Whether that is accepting necessary change, allowing for contradictions within the self, shedding our adolescent know-it-alls, evolving into individualhood, & expanding our sense of time and therefore possibility.
While it is necessary to know how to receive help and learn to be part of a group, it is equally important to learn how to be responsible for our own lives and learn to experience for ourselves. If there had to be a goal to this work it would be to integrate one’s inside-facing self with one’s outside-facing self.
The point is that things take time and we won’t figure it all out in this lifetime - so let’s move, but with care. Let’s change but not for the sake of change or because we are trying to seek refuge from acceptance. Let’s be present but not when it becomes a way to procrastinate the future. We can seek group membership but not when it jeopardizes our ability to set ourselves free. We can play and wonder like children without being trapped inside our adolescent bind, a perpetual state of wanting & reaching for the outside world to save us from our inside world.
It’s very brave of you to come here and in case you were wondering - yes, you are worth all this work. There is always a point to forging ahead even if the rewards aren’t yet visible or known; even when it doesn’t seem like anyone else out there understands; and even when we keep making the same choices over and over again.